


before sunrise [one-shots]

by angst_mommy



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Emotional Hurt, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Multi, One Shot Collection, POV Female Character, Reader-Insert, Smut, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-14 21:42:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29053065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angst_mommy/pseuds/angst_mommy
Summary: A bunch of one-shots  I made when I was in mood.  Gonna add chapters and tags. Special warnings in each chapter!Done:Eren Yeager X Reader "Rats" [smut]Levi X Reader "In the name of you" [angst]Reiner X Reader "Suns" [fluff, light angst]Eren Kruger X Reader "Uniform"Porco X Reader "Just a cigarette" [hurt/comfort]Coming soon:Porco X Reader "Trapped" (2-3 chapters) [light angst, fluff]Armin X Reader "Stars and memories" [fluff, light angst]Erwin X Reader "Slowly" [fluff]
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Reader, Eren Kruger/Reader, Eren Yeager/Reader, Erwin Smith/Reader, Levi/Reader, Porco Galliard/Reader, Reiner Braun/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 177





	1. Eren YeagerX Reader "Rats" [smut]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: smut (female body)

"Mikasa will kill me"

You make a sharp breath, trying to cover your exposed chest, shoulders, neck, _everything_. Why, why, why you ended like this. "When she finds out"

His face remains unchanged. No emotions in his empty, empty eyes. He is right above you, thoughtful, still. Caging you with his forearms on each side of your head. Table under you is unpleasantly cold.

"If" he corrects. As if someone clicked with the tumblr of an old mechanism. Husky, quiet, sharp. And silent again.

You swallow thickly and finally, finally feel confident enough to look at his face. A little older, with new wrinkles above and in corners of his eyes. The sharpest and the most familiar one at the base of the nose, between the usually frowned brows is no where to be found. He is calm. And glint in his eyes barely even here.

"Usually when I do it with Jean or Connie they are at least a little more... emotional" you say quietly, caressing his neck and jawline with a tips of your fingers. You got used to serve them. They got used to serve you. Why isn't it as easy this time?

He hums in response. Not blinking at all. "You let them fuck you that often?" He chuckles without _a single change on his face,_ but you know he is _satisfied_ because of your wretched human nature. Obligated to seek for any kind of _l_ _ife_. To try to forget about everydays _d_ _eath_. "So you are the same as an animal, guided only by instinct to fuck around and survive"

Is it an insult? Is he mad? Can he be mad? Or disappointed? You know only that he meant it as a question. Unspoken, but somehow you know that. In his features probably, even you can barely recognise this boy you hanged out with so often back to the innocent days.

"Yeah, just rats, as you've told, minding their own business, you know" you hiss back. Not like there is something to be ashemed for. All of you are some kind of friends with benefits. You knew you shared Jean and Connie with Sasha. And didn't share them all at all. It doesn't matter who you will kiss today if tomorrow their remains are thrown away with dozens of others, does it? Or your own will be torn apart.

Still feeling uncomfortable. Under his gaze, under his warm needy body. He wants you physically, he needs this little moments of pure _pleasure_ as much as you do, just to remind that you both are still alive and can _breath_. Breath till tomorrow, feel warmth not from blood covering your hands but from musky smell of sweat, from whimpers leaving your throats, from shaky hands and illusion of being heeded. Being desired. Being loved.

Little tired rat. Under unblinking sight of the tired boa.

"I've never been talking about rats, y/n." he finally starts to move. Lazily, lowering himself on you, titling his head to the side.

"I've told you and others..." peck to your jaw. He doesn't kiss.

"...that you all were a..." long line on your neck. He points it with his nose, covering your skin with his warm _dead_ breath.

"Ca-" you make a sharp breath, he is too, too close and with rise of your chest his lips fall between your breasts. He doesn't still and the only thought plaguing your brain is to push, push, _push him away_ because you don't want to hear the ending of his words. You don't want to feel this touches. _He will eat you alive._

"Ttle" bites under your breast and starts back. You whinge is muffled... Why? He is back to his previous position, hovering over you. He is still, he is patient. He peers in your eyes, maybe even somewhere deeper, but you know, you see that his own mind is not _here_. You look straight into abyss.

He is somewhere between decades before his birth and tomorrow's dawn.

"Rats know when they have to ran. Cattle doesn't." he continues as if it wasn't obvious before.

You look at him with half closed eyes. You are so _tired_. As much as he is.

He doesn't need and he doesn't want your permission when his hand fall on your hips. He tugs his fingers through thin clothes, so your thighs spasm. You turn away your head and hug yourself across your torso, right under your chest. Somehow you don't wanna deprive him from the show of you bouncing breasts.

"Look at me" it's a demand, but it's a soft demand. He catches you gaze immediately. But even in the middle of action his eyes shows _nothing._ Gooey sweat on his forehead, neck, shoulders, right under your hands. You weep, you whine, you howl in _hate that_ the world left you only to make a shift with little moments like _this_. That the world left for you only a shell instead of the person you'd like to kiss. He won't let you anyway.

He finally lowers himself, so you can't se _emptiness anymore_ \- and you are grateful - but it still feels in a way he holds and simply squeezes fat of your thighs. In a way he sharply breaths out, incoherently leaning on you with his full weight.

It's wet and sticky on your hips, it's painful at your shoulder, where are his teeth, his saliva, his _song_ of angry moans. You are not sure at that moment when you feel salt and wet on your cheeks and lips. Maybe you just imagined it.

There is no stars and firework, no long moans and convulsions. You grab his back and neck with your hooks, exhaling through gritted teeth next to his collarbone, somehow scared to let go. Legs are locked around his waist and he doesn't make any attempts to let you go.

His chest bulges and falls right next to you, but the only sound he makes is a lingering loud, compressed exhalation. A whistle escapes from the pressure from the lungs.

He breathes in again with difficulty. After a long pause. Long enough to realise how cold you feel. Your hands shakes a little, but you manage to turn your palm from the back of his neck and make a weak attempt to touch his head. He doesn't flinch or move, so you go on and blankly pat him. Longs hairs are bristly as same as that curls that cover your cheeks and almost got in your eye.

You are cold, you are sore. But you are _alive._

So he is. For now.

"Try to stay alive tomorrow, okay, y/n?" He tries to pretend to care as well. Isn't it what lover is supposed to perform after being so close and tight with their partner? Finally expresses his question with intonation, but still detached. But damn and mentally soft _**"oh"**_ , that's actually kinda sweet. The sweetest thing corpse can manage to say. Or your mind decided it somehow? Because suddenly you find yourself giggling lowly.

Histerically?

"Thank you, Eren. I'll try to."


	2. Levi X Reader "in the name of you" [angst]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: allusion to sexual content, blood, death

Levi kisses the corners of your lips. 

Levi kisses your jaw, leaving butterflies in your stomach, right where his fingers dance along. You shiver.

He goes lower, marking your neck, shoulders, collarbones. Oh, you wish, someone could believe you when you told how _tender_ Ackerman really was. He is only yours. Only yours, here, in the darkness of your small shared room no one knows about. 

He goes farther. His hands are hungrier, doesn't matter how many times you have already seen each other so heart-to-heart. Bruises your hips. And you chirps. 

Levi stills, looking at you upwards. Lustfully, patiently and _anxiously_. 

Yes, you were his subordinate as well. Yes, you knew about punishments among soldiers. Saw them too. And yes, Levi always had a heavy hands. And even if his care warms your heart, seeing him afraid to touch you hurts you more.

"You know, I'm not made with glass" you whisper, smiling softly. He makes **_"tch"_** , but blandly. And goes on.

"Levi, Levi, Le! - _oh_ "

***

Levi kisses cold metal of his swords.

He whispers something and only Gods can understand that. Gods and people who know old omens can.

Name the bait or weapon after someone you cared about. And if they care about you back luck will smile to you. Even all that months after **_that_** your name still filles his mouth with the same tender, flies from his lips as easy as before. Or he just wants to believe in so. 

You cared about him. And some part of him wants to believe that somehow you take care of him even now. Or how could these blades bring him so much luck? If you weren't looking after him? Nonsense.

Moment later his blades cut through hot flesh in a split second.

***

Levi kisses his own hand. 

Skin is rough, nothing compared to yours, but his imagination goes rapidly wild. He tries to remember your skin next to his, your - not perfect, not plumpy, but cracked, warm, so real - lips. The way you laughed when he, not used to all that "girly shit" backed away and looked at you with amusement. 

Levi sits on the bed, in the dark of his room. Hours so late that it's more morning than night, so it's a rare occasion to be caught by anyone. Not like Levi bothers anymore. He falls to the bed, hand in his hairs, fingers dancing through his undercut and farther, massaging his scalp.

He hits the sheet and vomits a bunch of cruels. Why, why, why, whywhy _why_. Why it's not the same. Why he even tries.

He bites into his palm until he tastes iron.

***

Levi smiles, swallowing rare tears.

He grimaces, trying not to sob out loud, trying to stay still, but contorted lips and misty eyes make everything clear. He is such a bad liar when it comes to you. 

He touches your matted hair, caressing line from chin to cheekbones, colouring his fingers with red. Hey, look at him as you did every morning when he've done the same. Smile at his shy attempts to touch you while you were sleeping. He was such inexperienced with that. 

But now Levi swears he will touch you more. Even when Hange dears to tease him about you and giggles too loudly when Levi asks them to shut up. Levi swears he will show affection. Whatever you want. Holding hands? Any time he is not holding ODM or doing paperwork. Cheek kisses? Not sure about doing it in front of morons from 104th, but if you ask, he will. No more frowning when you lean to kiss his forehead. These freaks around can only envy that you are his. He won't leave right to the shower after you two make love with an excuse of feeling sticky either. He will snuggle up to you and stay like that till dawn. He promises to himself he will. He knows he will.

Just look at him right now. He swears he will smile back at you this time, even if he already has this little wrinkles in the corners of his eyes. You told you liked them.

He strokes your hair and begs that maybe, just maybe, his skills are fooling him. There is not that much blood, you still can make it. If Hange and others find the two of you quickly enough after his alarm signal.

His fingers plow down though your hair and he feels crimson jelly and sharp sides of _bone_ under his fingertips. Sob leaves his chest.

Of course.

He lays your head carefully to the ground, covering your eyes with his painted florid finders. Of course he knew it from the beginning. Of course he knew. Levi fondles your cheeks and leans closer.

He has to go until it's too late for others as well. It's always have been too late for him. But he made a promise, so...

Levi kisses blood.


	3. Reiner X Reader "Suns" [fluff, light angst]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, light angst
> 
> Let Reiner a little calm and love, okay?
> 
> I take requests and feel free to DM me

He is so heavy that you barely can breath. Sometimes he shakes in your arms so viriously that you are not sure he won't break your ribs.

Your fingers are lost in his curls, while his larger are tight next to each side of your ribcage. His biceps bend and you inhale with effort. He fights in his dreams again. Against titans? Against Paradise? Against Eren?

Against himself?

"Reiner..." fondly, scratching his temples lightly. Headache?

He spasms in your hands and tries to move, being absolutely lost when the previous dream vanished, letting him fall into another one. Again and _again_. Each night the same. And doesn't matter how many times he told you to get lost. How many times he was honest with you that there is _no future to him_ , no future to you if you stay with him. No chance for _family_ and _serenity_. You stayed. Because it's vital to Reiner to have someone to hold to. When moon is washy, when Marley is asleep. 

Reiner lais his scrambled mind on your chest, hides in your motherly loving hands (this hands he kisses till he can't breath other nights, sobbing your name with bliss and care) and tries to win a little time for himself to breath fully.

He barely has a year to live on. You nurse his back, kiss the top of his head, his too warm forehead. He frowns and quiet **_"uhumff-f"_** when he breaths out lets you know that he is fighting his demons again. Maybe a couple of kisses and gentle strokes will help him survive one more night. Maybe not. 

_'Keep pushing through, it's almost dawn._

_And tomorrow I will be here again, as long as you need me.'_

Because even denying that fact that you wanna stay with him. After some time he got used. He got used and made sure you knew how he really appreciated it.

He is not sure he is in love with you as you are with him. And he is not sure he has time to really think about it. The only thing he knows is that in the dark of his room he can hug you a little more desperately than before and you won't push him away, won't leave him behind. You will leave this little kisses on his face and hands and won't push him to answer billion questions next morning. You will smile and go out with him. Finish your civilian work, pet a couple of stray cats, come back to this lost in the city apartment to him. He will be tired again, scroll this day in his head, not sure what to do next and "does it even worth to try what's tomorrow hiding?" But you will let a bunch of this silly notes that make him smile and almost embarrasse him unexpectedly telling that his eyes - this one lifeless, that saw nothing more than lossb- _are beautiful_. Oh, tips of his ears are blushing. And you will giggle victoriously. Feels like home, doesn't it?

You hug him tighter, even if your two arms are not strong or big enough to protect the broad blond from this world or his own mind. But he huddles like a kitten. Closer. Tighter. Warmer. Somewhere he thinks he will be _safe_.

He hums your name through his sleep and carefully rubs cheek along your chest, right next to your heartbeat. He still has this "almost year" to lay with you here finally, _finally,_ feeling home.

First little suns dance in his hair.


	4. Eren Kruger X Reader "Uniform"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTAINS A HINT OF SPOILER FOR EREN KRUGER AND GRISHA YEAGER'S STORY
> 
> TW: allusion to sexual content, female reader, allusion to character's death

"So..."

You stay here, right next to him. Lean against the doorpost while he dresses. He does it slowly, step by step. Show you've already seen hundreds of times, lazing in your shared bed. Keeping it warm for him to return.

Right now he is in his underwear, collecting his uniform piece by piece. You watch closely. His pants are on the floor, shirt and top are on the chair, boots are lost in the hallway. Love marks are on his neck, his sides and even nape, you see them when he bends over, to fix legs.

Rough pants with perfectly ironed seams.

Somehow you feel nervous when he habitually tightens the belt. You count the holes to the buckle. Four, there were always four of them before. One, two, three, four, five... Five? Did he lost some weight? 

A tight shirt to hide scars on his dry skin.

You feel yourself as a paramour, accompanying a married man to his home. Making sure he looks representatively. You never thought about it before. Why now? Although you know the only one woman besides you he could have is his _work_. But work won't leave this love bites on his skin. And one special - on his heart. 

Tunic. Faded, severe color. There are hundreds of them. Impersonal, obeying the steel hand of the charter.

Eren finally looks at you from deep eye sockets, shadows on his eyes deeper than before. Than yesterday, you wish you could have said. But you can't remember. His gaze hints you to return to the bed, because your skin is covered with goosebumps. Speechless aftercare. You deny.

He leans again, you can't see his face. Tention doesn't disappear though. It only increases. You know he will leave soon. Each step makes it closer.

Eren knocks a couple of times with the heels of his boots, pulling the laces tighter.

He is in his combat heavy boots, covered with coat with Marley emblem. You are next to him, in your light nightie. Almost bare, he can see your legs and the curves of your hips. Your neat shoulders and sublimity of your breasts. Naked body, exposed soul.

"I have to warn _him._ " He often says about this mythical _"him"_ never answering to yours "who?" Somehow you got used, even believed that this _him_ is something closer to reality than you could understand. "About Mikasa and Armin too."

It's the first time he uses names instead of blank _they, he, his_. And maybe this is exactly what makes you realise, that there will be no more _you and him_. It's sharp, it's jingle and for the first time you don't want to let him go outside.

He takes his peaked cap. Fixes hair.

"When will you be home?"

Sharp, long eye contact. Oh, Eren knows exactly how to make you to freeze in anticipation, under his predatory gaze. Yeah, you knew one day it will happen. He knew as well. 

Footless step forward.

Sloppy, open mouth kisses and Eren even doesn't complain that your hands grab the collar of his coat, crumple a hard cloth, that he will be late, that this clothes is dirty and you are barely dressed. He doesn't touch you as he does being excited of your initiative, but he lets this kiss pale slowly into something more tender than you've felt before.

Eren is slow, he is so painfully slow, that you blub in his mouth. He makes a pause and you recognize this light sign in his eyes which exists only for you and only for moment when he doesn't want to talk. So you only hum to yourself and instead of proper farewell dip into one more frail kiss.

His lips barely move when he steps away, turns around to leave. Hurry. And leaves you here, so open, so credence, so flattered with your red-hot lips, messy hairs and misky glint in your eyes. 

When Eren stands nearby _him_ at the wall, when Eren says _him_ about new life, wife, kids. When he mentions names of people he doesn't know who belong to. He thinks about you. He saw it all, how it supposed to be, each day filled with guilt for letting you down. But now he stays here, in the light of cool sun and thinks about you. 

_He_ definitely has to have a nice house, ardent wife and happy - at least for a few years - kid.

Something Eren couldn't get for himself with you.


	5. Interactive time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Right now I have a bunch of drabbles which all will became chapters here, but I need your opinion what would you like to see first.

_**Porco X Reader , ? X ? (ModernAU) "Caught in action (almost)"** [fluff, Porco being absolutely in love and jealous]_

"Is that Nicolo!?" Pieck breaths loudly, getting attention of both Galliard brothers. They turn around to see their long time no see friend standing nearby decorative bench, with a huge bouquet of yellow roses and lilies. Waiting for someone.

...

"It's y/n..." Porco breaths blindly.

...

"Calm down, hero lover" Marcel grabs brother's shoulder and tugs him back. Coming up with a reason to calm Porco, impulsive in love affairs "If, theoretically, she is cheating on you, flowers would be in her hands, not in his"

"I wanna know what they are talking about" he exhales through tightly clenched teeth. 

_**Reader, Armin X Annie** "Best step mom" [reader is in sorrow, domestic fluff]_

She is nine years old. She saw her mom but was too small and pure to remember her. She knew her father, stoic man with soft sad eyes. Her second name is Ocean and she always carries a book with herself.

_**Erwin X Reader "Slowly"** [fluff, secret relationship]_

"You should be careful, Commander, otherwise I will fall in love with dancing with you"

"What a pity. I already fell in love with you" he chuckles softly, supporting your waist.

_**Armin X Armin "Stars and Memories"** [light angst, fluff]_

"And what's that?" You finger points to the sky, circling around small area. Armin follows the direction of your fingers and squints slightly.

"It is Boötes. Look, he smokes a pipe right next to the nose of the Ursa Major."

"She must be really _furious_ "

"Probably" he chuckles and smiles softly. To you, to stars filled sky, to this world. 

_**? X Reader** **"Exactly right time"** [fluff, but with mention of war]_

"I know it's not a right time! But!" he whispers, screaming. "Will you marry me?"

"W-what?" you breath out, shaking as a leaf in the middle of tornado. 

"When this shit is over, will you become my wife!?" he paraphrased, looking at you expectedly. "You know, in sorrow and joy till death and other crap. But I can promise this is the worst sorrow we will have to come through!"

_**Porco X Reader "Drunk frank talk"** [fluff, mention of war, humour]_

A part of his mind digests himself that he is not the man you fell in love with. Not the man you would have waited for at home. Not anymore.

So when you find yourself at the bar, swallowing shots of cognac like water, you aren't surprised. Surprise rose on your face when you saw you beloved with a couple of his titan-shifter friends, entering the same bar. Shit.

_**Porco X Reader "Trapped"** [light angst, mention of blood and gore, almost domestic fluff] (2-3 chapters)_

Porco eyeing your figure from the corner of his vision. Tention. So hard that it's almost impossible to breath. And even hard to see, cuz cold blood which was running down your forehead before, now clouded your left eye. Eyelashes are stuck together and a hard crust on your cheek crumbles into petals when you move your head. Prey God's your eye is okay. You are too tired and too desperately arguing with yourself not to move, to scream, maybe even to cry, that you are not sure your brain doesn't ignore your pain. 

You thought Marlyes don't take prisoners.

_**Reader X Reiner, Bertholdt X Annie (ModernAU) "One more year"** [domestic fluff, angst] (Will not be added to this collection, separated work)_

After a doctor appointment Reiner buyes a notebook. A4 notebook with a light green pages and a picture of duck in a green and yellow striped scarf.

'365 days left' he thinks a little and adds 'or less'

He is 21 and doc just have told him that he has about a year before brain cancer takes him to his grave. If he doesn't find a cure. 34% among male doesn't sound optimistic, does it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Porco Galliard supremacy 🛐🛐🛐


	6. Porco X Reader "Just a cigarette" [hurt/comfort]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) I don't say smoking is okay nor say smoking is bad. Don't say "smoke is killing you", in my opinion, this habit is a symptom of something more. And everyone has their own reasons. Stress, pain, attempt to look older, other ppl around and others. Important to fix a reason and don't be aggressive toward ppl who find their comfort in smoking
> 
> 2) I do not wanna show smoking romantically. It's still a bad habit
> 
> 3) yes, I headcanon Porco doesn't like smoke
> 
> 4) it's important to leave space for people around you, but sometimes you need to share your troubles. Especially if it's between you and your s/o

Porco shambles to home barely being able to move his feet. Even being titan-shifter, with huge stamina and non human strength, right now he feels exhausted to no end.

So when he finally steps into your neat moderate apartment he almost throws up. Smoke. Everything smells like smoke. This stoic smell that he knows oh so well because of long evening surrounding with work at the meeting room. The smell than is so foreign for any thought about home. 

Scarce, but there are no smokers in his family, so catching cigarette always brings him thoughts about city, about strangers, about a long time in the trenches, waiting for the next attack. Not somewhere he can settle down.

He hates it. He hates having it at the place he feels like _his own home_.

You are standing next to the opened window, lighting the tip of cigarette with each inhale. 

"Something happened?" he tries to start a dialogue, even forgetting to say Hello. It's all too suddenly. He is confused, he is disappointed in this whole scene. 

"No, I'm 'kay" you swallow without hesitation, but he doesn't buy it at all. And his tention and tiredness break out into indignation.

"No you are not! _This_!" bursts out. He gestures all around the room "Is not "okay"! Y/n..!"

"Yes. I. Am. And don't wanna talk about it" you cut out. Sharply, quickly, cold. And Porco almost feel the slap in his face, he is angry. Because he doesn't understand. He doesn't understand why you can't just tell him what's wrong. Is the limit of trust exhausted? Have you done anything? Has he?

You can see nodules tighten on his jaw, he is close to start again and he breaths in to say something, to make you answer, to make you explain, but suddenly he just drops it. Everything. Today he is too exhausted.

"Sometimes there are things _even you_ can't do" you finish. With no room to argue. So he just lets it be this way.

This nigh you decided to spend on the couch. As well as the few next nights.

Porco wants to break in, wants to grab your hand, to say you that it's some kind of _shit_ , not a proper communication between two lovers, but he just doesn't. He stands still, watching sadly as you chuckle for something Zake has told you. You both are clouded with the light blue (because of going down sun) smoke and Porco wonders what did he do _wrong_. Have you told Zeke anything about you current state that you haven't told him?

He tries to convince himself that this is more than blind jealous. 

Galliard can't just come to you with "hey, what's up, just wanted to hang out with you here, breath this smoky air and have a headache". You know that he would never come to chat there. And he knows you will suspect he tries to babysit you. Sometimes he wishes he could.

Not to bite out parts of your private space, or question your independence. He is just worried. Worried to no edge and just wants to came back to the way it was, with snuggling during naps and easy talks. When you made him sleep and eat, because even with titans health he was only a human. When he gave up almost everything to help you during your sicknesses. When you helped him to fix furniture, cuz "you are as strong as him", but it took all day long. And when he burned a pan, cuz "it's a piece of cake, he doesn't need any help" and you had a pizza dinner instead. You haven't complained though.

He doesn't need a roommate, he wants his _lover_ back.

So he just turns away from the glass and tries to concentrate on a meeting. It doesn't work. Usually when there was no Zake, Porco felt fine, boasting to himself that he was more punctual than this bastard. Now he knows where he is exactly.

And it annoys him wildly.

It become almost common for him to fall asleep alone. He wraps himself in a blanket and tries to pretend that its how it always have been. Fails.

He is half asleep when he feels a pression on his chest. Firstly light, but with each second more and more firm. Damn, he thought he would never feel it again. 

Turns his head around, but very carefully. You spoon him from behind, nuzzling right between his shoulder blades. With this fustian blanket it's even harder for you to hug him, but you manage somehow, resting your hand on his chest.

 _Finally_.

He wants to speak, to ask, to make sure that you, you both, both are okay. Or, in worst occasion, that you are not fine, and maybe if you two make it clear...

He closes his mouth. You lean closer. Turns away.

He tugs blanket down under your hand and throws it on top of both of you. You make yourself more comfortable behind him and he feels that your feet are freezing when you intertwining them with his. Porco covers your hand with fingers and presses it closer to his face, almost leaving kisses on your knuckles.

He breaths and reality slams him that _he can breath rightly_. No smoke smell, no tobacco dancing on your hands, nothing. Just so welcoming warmth of your skin.

Maybe he will ask tomorrow. Maybe not.


	7. Porco X Reader "Drunk frank talk"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: mention of sex? Zeke being too flirty, reader being too drunk

The two of you have been falling apart. Not really, but it felt like it. Of course, war changes people. And it was a blind hope to think that Porco - who only with blessedness returned in one piece - would be the same. Yes, he is a warrior. He was raised for war, he was trained for war. But looks like only warrior has returned to you. Human Porco was lost somewhere on the battlefield. Killed, smashed, destroyed.

His gazes were lost, his touches were as some teenage virgin jabs. Wild passionate love making turned into a erratic quick fucks. Right now you could only prey for something similar to domestic bliss you shared before. You feel that. And he feels it too. And a part of his mind digests himself that he is not the man you fell in love with. Not the man you would have waited for at home. Not anymore.

So when you find yourself at the bar, swallowing shots of cognac like water, you aren't surprised. Surprise rose on your face when you saw you beloved with a couple of his Titan-shifter friends, entering the same bar. Shit.

They don't notice you at first, so you hide behind your hairs and start to think of a retreat plan hysterically. You can't just stand up and walk away, bar is too small, people are too quiet and too drunk, so trio will notice you no matter what the next moment you stand tall.

Your thoughts are not running while for a long time, because (of course, of course he does. Can it be a proof that you are a perfect match?) he sees you as soon as they sit down a few chairs along. Two other blonds don't pay attention that Porco stills, doubtedly looking at you. He doesn't take a drink, he barely even moves. And after that there is a moment of decision, his irreconcilable temper brings him to stand up and come closer to you in a couple of firm steps.

You are not sure who has returned to you, but you almost certain that you still can read his behaviour. The way Porco frowns, the way he stills, looks like a screwed up puppy who knows he made a mistake, but has no idea what it was and how to fix it.

"Y/n, why are...?" he drops almost immediately and you can _feel_ that he regrets talking to you, he's stumped, he doesn't know what to say. He was sure a second before, he was on a bend. Now he is lost again.

You look at his companions, who are sitting a little farther behind him. They are having a light evening conversation as if they have just met each other and are in a need to discuss the weather. Just a catchy moment to chat. No one is interested in what you are talking about. Defocused gaze slides back to Porco.

Well, there are two things you are good at: drinking till blacking out and playing an absolute dumbass. Tonight is time to use both of your talents.

"You want anything?" you start a little aggressively. He was not supposed to see you here. You didn't want to cross with him here. And you want to show it to him.

"Y/N, i just want to make sure you will be safe to home. You look too drunk..." He almost mumbles, being too quiet for his usual self. Usually it's you are the one who comes to pick him up from the bar, being a stronghold of the sober mind. Because he _knows_ why you are here now, he knows that he is a reason of your self-reproaching with a hot water. He was a good warrior, but a failure lover. Is it the reason he scruples with his comrades being around? Will they see what an inadequacy he is? Tease him? Razz?

"I have a..." you mumble quietly for the first time, not sure if the game worth it. Why can't you give it a try, at least? Porco always was into challenges. And (sometimes even empty) bragging. Moreover, in front of them? Well you can try to play a couple of cards to please his ego. Maybe it really will help with fixing the gap between you both. Only if your tipsy tongue will play you a good help. And your brain will not fail you either.

"What?" Porco teethes, trying to capture your hand. But you don't let him. He is vexed and, you think for a moment, ashamed. You stay angrily, ripping away your elbow. The game begins.

"Don't you - you dare! I have A lover!" louder than you expected.

"Y/N..."

"My boyfriend will be back from the forefront soon! You wouldn't dare if hE-!" but at that outline he interrupts you again, this time catching both of your hands firmly. 

You attracted too much attention. And he certainly doesn't like it. But it's what you've been looking for. Blonds behind him freeze and become a mute participants in your dialogue. It's too quiet and too boring here not to pay attention to drama right in front of them.

"Baby, y/n, you are talking about me. I'm here." And he falls into irritation immediately. "Are you that fucking drunk you forgot I came back two...?"

"Don't _"fuck"_ me here around!" you starts again with a new breath. Seeing his annoyed face only whips you up, so your moony brain works faster than you wanted. His two "friends" stick out behind his back, both trying to fight off slight laughter and enjoying the show. Calm down, Pokko, you know how to turn their snickers into something more enjoyable.

Glasses looks a little more excited than the other blond, so he look at you with almost visible satisfaction. Lazily, but satisfied. Damn, why does remembering their names look like an impossible task right now? You can swear you saw them both before.

You brush Porco off, being sure not to make any long eye contact or look at his face at all. Too scared that he might realize you are not _that drunk_. Or that you had to have recognised him even with an alcohol instead of your own blood. 

"I wasn't waiting here for all that fucking years..!" you stopt to make a breath and suddenly find out that all this time you were screaming. He stumbled. "To screw with some loosers when there is a God Damn Him!" _Him, him, him,_ right now, right next to you. Lips parted with surprise, his look lets you know that Galliard listens to each drunk drivel you let out. Oh, even now he really catches your words. As if it's he is the one who is drunk with your rave. "Love of my life! Sacrifices himself for these flimsy lazy bastards who are hiding in the rear!"

Oh shit, you almost bought your own words. Why not? You were telling from the candor on the bottom of your heart. No, no, no tears on your eyes. Doesn't matter how hard you hide them, they show up anyway. Screw you, love, screw you, your lovely Porco. No more alcohol. No more.

"I _miss_ him" you sob. Were you really that drunk? You definitely will need to ask Porco to not let you drink that much. Never again. "I know he is s-O-o!' your sob turns into a howling. And looking at Porco at a loss you are almost at the point of hugging him. Not yet. You finally can breath and finish the sentence "stro-oh-o-ohng. But I just want to be with him..." Mumbles are almost lost between your lips, but Porco swears he hears this little soft hiccup you leave "Protect him as well..."

Suddenly all your feelings are too much and you just want to be at home, to hug his pillow that suits in your arms so well, to snuggle around and just forget about all that things. 

He leans to you and other shifters don't move at all, they relish in this sudden change of your mood. They noticed you and they are intrigued, you can see. Beardless one looks almost hurt? Lesioned? Heartburbed? Even somehow pathetic for a warrior, but he obviously is the cordial one. For a second you hope he is in a a good terms with Porco.

"He is-Z a shifter" you continue though, still wailing. "And he don't have all the ti-i-ime. BUT. I'm glad I-i-I CAN be with him even for now!"

They know, they know about this rude life's joke. 13 years and Porco is a lucky man to still have more than a half. You remember he once told you that it's the last year for a lot of his titan comrades. And somehow you were scared more than he was. Even if it's the future he will face one day too.

"If you could see him! Oh save me Gods! One man for hundreds... Thousands!" _yes, yes yes, he is_. You need to find him right now. You smile to yourself, remembering everything as clear as possible. Look down at your hands, obviously ignoring the figure next to you. "He is cute too. And handsSOme as hell. And he wrinkles his nose so charmingly." now you are mumbling this sweet nothings more to yourself, grabbing bar chair strongly, still looking down to find hard ground under your feet. Clear eyes, a little to mushy cheeks almost always frowned eyebrows and slight tilt of the head... "And he is always too warm. And I like laying with him, on his hand. And he tickles me in the morning..."

"If you could only understand that" you snort, sharply, desperately, angry with yourself. That you are sitting here with no reason, that you are wasting your time for something he can't see. Trying to stand straight after getting off the high bar stool.

Fail. But he catches you immediately. Porco, Porco, Porco, Porco. Why do arms smell like _him_? And you breath, breath as much as you can. Your lovely, your beloved Porco.

The best part starts when you see two huge figures - not really, but you are drunk and you can feel power they are spreading, so you do feel overwhelmed - sliding next to him. Oh, well, honestly, you didn't expect it.

"Need some help, Galliard?" chuckles the one who smells like cigarettes and you can feel that Porco bristles. 

"Get lost." he answers protectively behind gritted teeth. Too protectively even for his usual a little-bit-too-drama self. Is this guy dangerous? Like that-that dangerous? Is Porco okay? Anyway.

"Let me G-go" you fight back anyway, finding a foothold with great luck. Breaking the contact with his sinewy hands. Oh no. "I c-can do it by myself!"

You can't explain why, but suddenly you feel absolutely unprotected. And that makes you act sharply and chaotically. Maybe you are just too tired. You raffle.

"I need to go home!" you declare to prove how stoic your decision is, but it only makes you less confident.

"Looks like you two had a nice conversation tho" Glasses notes and you spasm mentally when he crosses arms on his chest. "May bother yourself to stay a little more." The second one surely wants to drop it, but he just stands nearby, leaning on the bar.

"Zeke..." Porco snarls. Oh, that's what his name is, right. Zeke. Maybe you will remember.

"What? Not that _you_ have the right to decide what this _lady_ wants." you are not sure did Zeke bought your lie or he was just bitching around, but he enrages Porco more.

Wait, were you playing? Oh, right, you wanted to brag about Porco in front of them so they will envy you two... No? So Porco will not be sad anymore? Something like that, yeah. Boast, boast, boast, what to say?

"I do not - I'm not interested anyway" you frown and make your own way, but stops being face to face with Zeke. Porco grumbles beside you and even knowing that it's him, Porco, you do feel that there is no space to breath. Panic.

"See? She is leaving" even Porco is too close, they all are too close. And he adds right behind your ear. Or you feel so "So I do as well"

"No way I'm loosing a chance to catch such a belle." Zeke continues anyway, and it's irritating. Why doesn't he understand? Why does he want to make everything harder?

"I'm, fact, but you! You look like a-a-a..." you slaps your forehead mentally. Great. Just great. "Monkey?"

Why does it sound like a question!?

"Strange idea, but I'll take it. So what is your name, l..."

You don't want to listen to him. He tries to play with you, manipulate you it's clear as a day. In the way he look at you with a pity. Oh, damn, you are so angry right now. Without specific reason. Just angry. With this all situation, with them, with yourself. Interrupt him.

"I won't re-Repeat everything I've told! I'm. Not. Single! My boy is a perfection, so thank you, no!"

Forgive me, mother, forgive me, father. I knew I would never be a lady "And! You mi-Ight call me a Hoe! But! I love his thick. Nice. Cock." Hiccups from loud crying and all that liquid you've put in your body suddenly come back and break your line into little parts, but you don't care even a bit. You smile with the full force of your impudence. Right to your boyfriend and his comrades. Oh shit. Your ankles shake as hell. "And oh my boy, he knows how to please a woman per-R-fecty"

You just pray any God's there will be no need to pass by Porco while he is at work. And hell, you are so, so angry.

You can see that cheeks and even ears of _\- Robert? Richard? -_ the broader blond become unshamesly red. Success? Four-eyes chuckles.

"So if you don't have anything to add!" You wave your hand right next to Porco's nose "I'd prefer to go to MY home ant-T wait for MY fucking **lover**. Get lost, you whi-IP-per-snapperZ!"

You can not only see, but feel, as he blooms with injudicious pride. Your lovely silly boy. You are so in love with him. As much as he is in love with you. High hopes that the next day he will help you with a hangover.

You hurry away, not bothering to look behind at them. Home, home, home.

"Y/n, baby, wait!" Porco chuckles softly and run in a light jog after you.

Four-eyes slaps the other's shoulder, looking after two disappearing in a distance figures.

"Take a good care of your girly, Porco!"


End file.
